Thala (head) of goat attracted my attention as I walked through the market in Byculla. It has been long time since I savoured it. Whenever I go home, I ask my Mom to prepare and give it. Nothing can beat it’s taste. So as I thought about my mom’s recipe an unqenchable desire to eat thala curry took hold of me.

Then what? I bought it immediately and came home to prepare it. It was only in the night I was able to eat it with Priya (due to work and non availbility of cocunut). Irresistable smell and the unique taste of the flesh in the head of the goat is unbeatable. Priya also tasted it for the first time and now she is liking it. So I hope we will make it often at our house.

If you need the secret recipe, contact me…

It is exactly one month earlier, on 27^th of October 2011, I hooked the chain around the neck of Priya Devadhas and made her Priya Jebaseelan. Splicing or tying Mangalyam has become old fashion even in Tamil marriages. It is now hooking. Take the chain; bring it around the neck of the girl; hook it and tighten the hook: you are married. This simple act brings phenomenal change in your life.

You have a partner of gentler sex sharing your room, bed and kitchen. She invariably disapproves of your tidiness and the way you keep things in the house. She wakes you up every morning with a smile and say, “Honey, get milk from the shop”. When you enter the house she stops you by the door by gently touching you and say in a romantic tone, “Remove the sandals before you enter the house” (I used to trample the nook and corner of the house with my shoes and sandals, I don’t go to bed with footwear though). But as for me, I calculated the cost before embarking on this life-long enterprise, as the good book says.

There is a positive side also. She brings sunshine in to your life and house. Some of our friends came to our house next day to the wedding. One uncle in the group made an accurate observation saying, “I have come to the same house two days before but now it really looks like a ‘house’.” Apart from this, the sense of feeling one have that he is now a responsible husband and head of a family is the greatest turning in life. You don’t feel like spending money unnecessarily as you have one extra mouth to feed. You don’t simply buy anything you see just because it looks nice. You don’t roam around aimlessly and return home at your own time. You can surely savour the pride of feeling that you have a family of your own now and you are the head of it. Marriage definitely makes a man more responsible.

I had the rare privilege of attending a prayer meeting organized by and for Visually Challenged people. It was a small yet enthusiastic gathering. They came with their families. The members of the family who do not have visual problem energetically helped. Once the prayer started, I could see the enthusiasm of each member. It was a glorious sight to see them sing with lots of joy, as if they have everything they asked for in life. One lady read Psalm from Braille Bible and each one repeated the Psalm after her. When I requested another brother to read the Scripture portion for the message in Braille Bible, he went to the room which had pile of Braille books and slowly but systematically felt each book and found the First Epistle to Corinthians in Hindi and read it.

Braille Reading

The most exciting site was the communion meal which was after the prayer. I could see how much knitted they are like a single family. They recognise each other by their voices, each kid present in the assembly bring food and water to the visually impaired Uncles and Aunties and they chat with much joy not even bothering about the worries of their lives. It was not mere time-pass chit chat that we do normally to kill time or to be polite in a social gathering, but conversations and comments full of love and regard for each other. I thought they understand the significance of the other person. They know the value of community. They recognise man is not an island, he needs others and only by sharing love they can be part of the life of others and the others in theirs. When will we, who are having sight, have the insight to understand this truth and act as a part of the community? When our ‘sighted society’ is going to be glued by love and kindness? I left the place with deep thought. Indeed this place gave me much food for thought.

It was the weight worth carrying and it was the pain worth bearing.  The weight we carried was the

Prayer in Progress

few, but heavy, earthly possession I have and the pain we bore was the muscle wrenching and bone breaking pain we had the next day. It was the shifting day. After the service on Sunday the 7^thAugust, I, Prince and Amos of UBS and my future Brother-in-Law took the things from my old house, which is like a cave with one entrance, and loaded it on a medium sized, hired tempo van. We didn’t knew that the breather we got during the ten minutes ride was just a time for us to prepare for the herculean task which awaits us. We had to carry the things to the third floor. The uphill task proved to sap the

strength out of even the strongest among us. After two times going up and down we were

Part of my Kitchen

panting but still the biggest and heaviest of my possessions: Fridge and Iron Cot were to be carried. Oh! God, we had a tough time bringing them up. But finally our work paid off, all the things were in the new home. Hurrah! We had a celebration. But next day brought all the agony of using all the unused muscles in the body without warning. I am the worst affected being the one who uses only minimal muscles among the four for daily existence.

Then began the quest to make a decent bachelor home out of the heap of things we brought and dumped in the new place. It took two days and a proposed visit by my pastor for prayer in the new house to complete the task. If Pastor didn’t propose to come, I would have left the things as it is till my parents come this month end (assumption being that they also need something worthy to do apart from attending my engagement). But I did it. It was surprising for me too, but I did it. On 10^thPastor and few others came and prayed for the blessing of the new house I rented and dedicated the house in a formal way. Now the house is fully functional. But the question is how much pain and time it will take to maintain it as a home? Only time and God can

Kitchen Stuff

tell… But the best thing in my new house is the Kitchen and the quietness of the place. Kitchen is spacious enough to kindle the dried up passion I have for cooking and the quietness is so soothing enough to stir up the passion for reading and writing. I hope to use the best out of this place. It is my home now and it is a sweet home. Though everything is there, still my home is incomplete, but it’ll be complete soon, on October 27^th when my queen arrives to take the charge. Till then I will wait, keeping this house ready to receive her Majesty.

Finally I had to say bye to UBS. With a heavy heart I bade adieu. Four years stint in the campus was fruitful in all the ways. It was like a rollercoaster ride. There were ups and downs, delightful and fearful moments, exhilarating and depressive times but at the end of the ride all is for good and for my betterment. UBS has given me great friends whom I can admire lifelong and whom I can rely on for all the storms of my life. It has also introduced me to great role models who have inspired me in all the ways of my life. I am not afraid to confess that I learnt to read the Bible the way I ought to read only here and also the boldness to write what I think in my mind in different genres through those role models.

Though I have a regret that I could have done better and though I am haunted by ‘if only I have done this’ spirit now and then, I am a transformed person now. I am sure that I am not the same Jebaseelan who has entered UBS campus on June 2007. I have grown. I have learnt. I have understood life better and I have enjoyed life to its fullness. I will definitely miss the campus and all the holy men and women in it.

Whenever I visit my Alma Maters in Trichy and Chennai and walk in the roads I have walked thousands of time during the stay there, I used be overwhelmed by gratitude of what that particular campus was to me. It will be the same thing with UBS now. I will always thank God for giving me the opportunity to study in this great institution and rub shoulders with great mortal-saints. I don’t know what position all my classmates and others whom I know through UBS will hold in future, but one thing is sure that they will be pillars of the Indian Church for the coming generation.

Good bye UBS. I will not forget the way you molded me and shaped me for my ministry. I will not dare to ignore the lessons you have taught me in the campus. If God willing, may I repay you for your generosity in any small way I can.

UBS has a system of a bunch of students being under a professor for personal care and spiritual nurture. This small group is called Care Groups (CG) and the professor is called the  Care Group Advisor. It meets every Tuesday for a short time of worship and fellowship. The CG Advisor has the responsibility to take care of the students and monitor their growth.

I have been under two professors during my four year stay in UBS. First two years under Dr. Simpson from whom I have learnt lots of things for life. The best being the  art of being disciplined and focusing on the work and being strict to  myself. In the last two years under Rev. Kamble from whom I have learnt the value of simplicity in life. He is just a wonderful, simple human being to begin with and then only a professor and the Registrar of the Seminary.

Last night we had the CG Dinner and the juniors gave farewell to us. It was wonderful. Today we had our last CG and it was heart-warming to think of this kind of structure which enables the students to open up and hone their talents in many ways. My friend Shine who normally never talk to any one in public got used to talking after he became the CG leader last semester. His last speech in the CG made me realise how that small responsibility has changed him. This is one solid instance I knew but other wise there are so many opportunities to lead singing, share and open up given by this setting which has enable many to enhance themselves.

For me the time I spent with my advisors, talking to them about my personal plans and getting their advices was a enriching asset I would never forget. The evening times I have spent with Dr. Simpson has changed my life beyond imaginations. Many of my habits have been nurtured by trying to imitate him. When I shared about the work I am going to do in Mumbai, Rev. Kamble gave me a suggestion which I am trying and planning to execute. He said “Prepare yourself during this years of ministry for the future studies. This gap gives you the rare opportunity to read more about the area you are going to specialise and get ready.” He also said, “The church ministry give more opportunity to develop yourself than any other ministry. If you are focused and disciplined you can do it.” These are the words I will always cherish.

The news of Dr. Isaiah’s demise came as a big shock to me on the morning of 23-11-10. He taught me “Homiletics” for two semesters in my first two years in UBS. I remember him as a simple man with a dynamic personality to attract people’s attention. In class he is always animated and keeps us in rapt attention. He remembers all the names of the students and tries to have a personal touch by calling their names in the class.

First time I saw him was in St. Paul’s CNI Church, Pune, when I came for writing my entrance exam for UBS in the beginning of 2007. I meant to go to a Tamil church in the parallel road of where St. Paul’s is. But my auto driver dropped me in front of St.Paul’s. As I didn’t know Hindi, without trying to correct him I got down and went to the Church. The sermon was delivered by Dr. Isaiah that day. I was impressed. The clarity of thought and the way he expressed touched me. Then I heard from someone that he is a faculty in UBS. I was really excited as he was part of UBS where I am going to study.

Then in UBS he taught me “Introduction to Worship and Preaching”. I was astonished by the method of his teaching. His animated way of interacting with the class was admirable. I can say I learnt many things about preaching and expounding the Word of God through his classes.

Personally also he was a good friend. He used to give me the copy of the Bible Study he was going to do in St. Paul’s and ask for my comments. As I was also a part of St. Paul’s weekend ministry team at that time, so I used to enjoy the conversion about the church and whether this message would be appropriate for them or not. In every ways he was a blessing not only to myself but also to many of my classmates. The practical preaching classes used to be a wonderful time where he would be commenting on each of our sermons and telling us its strengths and weaknesses. We learnt a lot.

Last thing I remember about him is our final meeting in his office, before he left UBS, where he gifted me some commentaries, History of Israel by John Bright and Introduction to Christian Doctrine by Millard J. Erickson. I still have them in his remembrance. In few words I can say that he was a sweet man who had a charisma in him. The charisma was not inherent one but the one he developed through hard work . Though a village boy, he strived hard to improve his language, skills and all he had to make him a good teacher and preacher. His story is a success story, a real success story.

Two laptops and one mobile got raptured in our hostel last Thursday. They must have been really holy to disappear as all other holy men’s laptops and mobiles were left behind. This rapture had a bad effect on the left-behind-ones as the person responsible for the rapture was not known. The seers of UBS were very sure that the Lord was not responsible.

Yes, there was a theft in the seminary. Holy men who don’t have time to think anything other than Barth and Christology were forced to sit and contemplate on the manner and circumstances under which the gadgets disappeared like my dear Sherlock Holmes. Even after hours of rumination we were left clueless and distraught.

I, as Hostel Secretary felt morally responsible and did my best to help two of my friends who have lost these valuable effects. Now the FIR is filed and the matter is in the hands of the policemen. Only time will tell whether they would be able to bust the mystery or not. My only wish is that our worst fear that one of the seminarian would have had a hand in this should be proved false or there is no worst shame than this for the Christian community who are called to be faithful. 

Title may look paradoxical and confusing. Well, “Nacho” is the movie I watched last weekend. It is a comedy and it is about a Priest Ignatio who is living in a monastery. His childhood ambition was being a wrestler. But due to his vows he couldn’t do that but still he has great desire for wrestling. Now that monastery has an orphanage. Father Ignatio is the chief chef for the whole monastery, but due to the lack of proper fund he could only provide frugal meal to the children.

One day it so happens that because of overwhelming passion for Wrestling, he selects a partner in the road side and participates in a tag team match. Though he looses, he got some money by which he provides the children decent food. He continues to wrestle without the knowledge of the superiors in the monastery. He continuously earns and also looses the matches.

One day in frustration he prays like this: “ Precious Father, why have you given me this desire to wrestle and then made me a stinking warrior. Have I focused too much on my boots, and on my fame and my stretchy pants?” Then something clicks in his mind and he utters the following words which struck me hard: “May be you want me to fight and give everything I win to the little ones who have nothing so that they can have better food and better life. Okay, If I win tonight’s wrestling match, I would know that you will bless my mission and you want me to be a wrestling servant of you”. Of course after that though he seems to loose, he wins the title at last and uses all the money he gets for the educational tour of the orphans.

More than stomach-paining humour in the story, the moral of that prayer touched me. He wanted to re-dedicate the desire he had for wrestling to God so that God would be glorified through his ambitions. Of course he fought before and used the money for Orphans, then what difference this pray made in his life? I think it is the attitude. Before he fought to fulfil his desire to fight. Now he had a purpose for wrestling, a noble purpose which kept him strong in his mission. You may dismiss this as insignificant, but I feel as he dedicated himself to be the ‘Wrestling-Servant of God’ we also need to dedicate ourselves as ‘cooking servant of God’, ‘writing servant of God’ or ‘Reading servant of God’.

This brings me to the research I am doing on Puritans for my BD thesis. J.I. Packer in his book “Among God’s Giants” says that Puritans’ lives were integrated. They did not have the dichotomy of separating sacred and secular. They viewed life as a whole which ought to be used for the Glory of God. We also need to learn this thing in our lives. Are we submitting all our legitimate desires in God’s hands so that he would open ways for us to use it for His glory? 

We laughed at that incident and forgot it. But suddenly it popped up in my mind and revealed a greater truth. The incident I mention is a trivial one. I was standing in the common bathroom in our hostel, brushing. Ravi enters as David is filling his bucket with hot water. Thinking that David would only take half bucket of hot water to mix with ordinary water and bath, Ravi moves David’s bucket and places his. Ravi moves away from that place to take soap from his room. After coming back, he was casually chatting with David.

“Why are you not taking bath David?” I asked casually, curious to know why he is still standing.

“I want to fill the bucket to the brim” he replied.

I could see the shock in Ravi’s face when he uttered, “I thought you are done that is why I moved your bucket away and kept mine to fill”.

“Why didn’t you tell you are not done, David?” I asked.

“Oh! I thought he wanted to bath first” he said. We laughed at the misunderstanding. David left as Ravi poured some water from his bucket and filled David’s to the brim.

This incident came to my mind after sometime and revealed a great truth. If this thing had not been talked openly and resolved, David would have had the misunderstanding that Ravi is despising him. This misunderstanding would grow into hatred and he would be looking forward to get even. When he does that, Ravi would think that he had been treated badly and would look for opportunities to retaliate. In this way, misunderstanding breeds conflict.

Take any conflict, great or small. Each party would claim that they are right and they had been mistreated by the other party. The truth is lost in the accusing words. Only when they sit with open mind and talk about these issues which are disturbing and even embarrassing at times, they would be able to resolve conflict amicably. The origin of conflict would be a trivial thing as I just mentioned, but if we let it grow it would become a gigantic mountain which we would never be able to overcome. The small seed germinates. It branches out in different directions. It becomes strong by rooting deep in the soil. In this stage we become a paranoid. We are suspicious of the other party and interpret each of that person’s action in a negative way. In this way we make them to be our sworn enemies. The tiny misunderstanding which started the whole process is lost by other minute details of ‘hurts’.

Our response to this truth should be a one of humbleness. If we suspect that someone is mistreating us, we need to be patient to see whether they are really intending it. If possible it would be better if we talk it over. It could bring a solution to the conflict which is brewing. Secondly we need to be very careful in our actions. We need to be conscientious so that our words and deeds would not be misunderstood and misinterpreted. We can try our best to do that. But we also need to be aware that sometimes it just doesn’t happen. Ultimately we need to submit our deeds and words, significant and inconsequential, in God’s hands. In this way if we try to rededicate ourselves every day and every hour, we would live an honest life before God and decent and pleasurable life before fellow men.